Friday, July 20, 2007


friend·ship (frěnd'shĭp')


  1. The quality or condition of being friends.
  2. A friendly relationship: formed many new friendships over the summer.
  3. Friendliness; good will: a policy of friendship toward other nations.

I have never been one to have a problem with making friends.  I have had many friends over the years, but if you ask me who my friends are right now, I'd have a very hard time telling you.   I do have friends from the MOMS Club, and friends from Church, etc.  But to say I have 1 true friend...well other than my husband, at this point in my life, I can't say I have a close friend.

It's sad, I know, I've talked about this before.  This past week, I've done some reflection on my life.  I focused on many areas of my life.  Cried out to God on many occasions during my time alone with Him.  One thing that I've cried out for more than once is 1 true friend that I can count on to be there...a "best friend".

What I've learned over this past week, is that hold back when it comes to making friends.  I've never done that before, but things have changed over the years.  I've made some really close friends and ended up moving away, leaving them behind.

When I lived with my parents, I had quite a few friends (most were from HS).  Well, you know how life goes, we all went to college, and before all of my friends were done with college, I was married and living 45 minutes away.  So, we lost touch with each other.

I made friends in college, we kept in contact since we were about 20 minutes away from each other.  I made friends at work, we were semi close (not real close, but when you are in the same environment with the same people day in and day out, they tend to become friends with you).  Then it happened.  We moved to Colorado.  We all started losing touch with each other.

While in Colorado, I made friends with a few people.  I would say I had about 3 close friends.  Then it happened again...We moved to Minnesota.  I lost touch with all of them, except 1 (she happened to move away before I moved).

While in Minnesota, I made some friends (I'm starting to sound redundant...bear with me).  (A few friends I "thought" were my friends, but as soon as I moved to the next town over, that was it).  And happened....We moved back to Ohio.  I have to say 2 of those friends I was close with, we stay in touch as much as we can through email and phone calls, but it's still not the same.

When we moved here, I joined the MOMS Club right away and we joined our church.  I have met quite a few people I'd consider friends, but I still long for that 1 close friend...that best friend.  A lot of my problem is I've moved so much and "lost" so many friends that I feel like I'm holding back from becoming someone's best friend.

So, I've come to the conclusion that it's me that's holding back...Friendship is a 2 way street...but how can I be good friends when I'm afraid of losing them?

I know in time, my heart will change and I'll let someone in.  I pray that it's sooner than later, loneliness is not a friend I want to keep!

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