Thursday, August 16, 2007

Praise

Week 2 of our Bible Study questions...

Describe a time when you were in deep communion with God...How were you feeling?  What were you thinking?  What was going on inside of you?
I feel an urgency inside my soul, urging me to pray ad to humble myself before God.  Even with the urgency, there's a Peace, knowing that He's there caring, talking and sharing with me.  I am weak and can not get up from where I am.  My thoughts are all consumed with God and His presence.  Nothing on earth could shake or distract me at that moment.  I am forever changed in that moment, never able to look back!  My heart leaps.  My body shakes...as if cold, yet I'm not.

How would you describe God at that moment?
How does one begin to describe God in that moment?  I don't know how to describe Him...he's Powerful, Kind, Calming, Peaceful, Comforting, Direct, Friendly, Loving, Warm, full of Mercy and Grace...the list could go on.

What 1 think could you do to Praise God?
Stop complaining about things and start praying about them instead!

Have you surrendered yourself fully to God?
At one point in my life I know that I have...but at this moment, if I'm being total honest (and that's what I want), I'd say that I'm holding onto something...I need to let go...I need to figure out what it is and why I think I need to hold onto it.

How will what you learned impact your worship?
I will focus my attention inward and search my heart for what it is that I'm holding onto.  I want to fully surrender to God

Lessons Learned...
Describe a significant event that happened in your life.
So, I went out and did what every 16 year old does with her friends (well in my little town that is), we went cruising!  We used her car since mine wasn't in any shape to be driving around outside of our little town (according to my parents)...Too unreliable.  After a night of driving around, I got into my little Chevette and headed back home.  On my way home, I see car headlights coming straight toward my car.  I slow down and pull closer to the parked cars.  Still that car comes at me.  I then realize it was going to hit me...I brace my arms against the steering wheel and prepare for impact.

I close my eyes and when I open them, I'm not facing the direction I once was.  I look around and there's a car not too far from mine all dented in as well.  As I glance around my little car, I see some part of the engine laying down in the passenger seat.  The steering wheel has been snapped in half.  Out of habit, I pull down the mirror and see that a tooth had been moved in my mouth...my reaction...push it back into place.

I reach for my door...it won't open...my seatbelt is completely stretched out and won't retract.  I can't get out...I'm trying and trying, but the door won't open.

A lady comes to my door..."Are you ok, do you want me to call your parents"

I manage to tell her yes, and sit there.  I just want to get out of my car.  Here comes the rescue...they come over to me, climb into my passenger seat and start checking me out.  He asks if I'm ok...I know this man, he was a Sunday School teacher I had once before.  I tell him yeah, but I think my foot might be broke..I can't move it.  I begin to tell him that my door won't open, I tried.  He says "Sit tight, we'll get you out of here."

Dad comes over to the car to see how I am...I tell him I'm scared, I want out.  He tries to help the rescue worker get me out, only to be told to STOP, Please don't move her, we'll take care of this.  The next thing I see is my dad talking to the cop (they are friends).

They start moving me, OUCH, my leg hurts...BAD!  Oh wait, it's not my foot that is broke, it's my leg!   With a lot of pain and work, they finally get me out of the car.  But not before cutting my door!

Now I'm cold, really cold.  I want so much to be warm, I'm scared...

They take me in the ambulance to the hospital...the guy that hit me is in the same ambulance...I don't like that.  I feel every little bump that the go over.

At the hospital, things are crazy...x-rays, needles, lights...where are my parents??  After a little while, they come in.  (This was told to me later, but apparently the guy that hit me had told the hospital staff that I was his daughter and we had been in a car accident and he wanted to know how I was...when my parents got there and told them they were my parents, there were some problems...they had to figure out who I belonged to).  I hear the doctor talking to my parents...I strain to see the x-ray, but I can't.  I hear him say, it's broke, she'll have to have surgery and a rod placed in her leg.  It has to be tomorrow.

They wheel me up to the 3rd floor to put traction into my leg.  My parents were told to stay down on the 1st floor and they'd come and get them when that was finished.

I'm in a room, it's all white, there are a bunch of nurses standing around me.  I know a couple of them from church.  They are going to put traction into my leg...I can't have pain medication yet...OUCH that hurts...I'm crying, I'm screaming...why can't they numb me?  The nurse starts pumping in the morphine, but it's not helping.  The nurse that I know leans in and tells me that this is almost over and that I can squeeze or bite her hand if I wanted...she looks really concerned.  She said she can't give me any more medication since I had hit my head in the crash.

Finally, it's over...No more pain...I'm tired...I want my parents.

I'll speed this story up a bit because so much of it is still fuzzy in my head.  I had a broken Femur in my right leg.  Apparently the break was clean, however, the bones were laying too close to that main artery in my leg and that's why they couldn't allow my dad to help them for fear that I would bleed to death.  Because of all the injuries I sustained (I won't go into all that, some of it is TMI, but you are getting the main of it) and all the x-rays that were taken, I was told that I may never be able to have children.  I was in the hospital for 1 week and out of school for 1 month.  I healed very quickly, the doctor was so surprised!  At the time of the accident (September), he didn't think I'd be able to play softball, but by the time February rolled around, I was well enough and strong enough to play softball!

Fast forward 5 years.  I am now married and we've already accepted the fact I may never have children, although we've never attempted to try and we did protect ourselves "just in case."  While in church practicing with the Praise & Worship team, we had a Hispanic Preacher come into our church and minister to us.  He was there that morning with an interrupter, but tonight, for whatever reason, the interrupter isn't around.  He begins praying for each member of our team.  I'm last, he looks at me (mind you I don't speak an ounce of Spanish), and asks if I want a baby (in his VERY broken english, I only understood the word baby).  I stand there shaking my head.  He begins praying over me and says it's not your fault and boy...those are the only thing I understand...along with the chuckles that come from him.  He keeps saying boy, boy, boy and chuckles.  I don't understand, but I know God is working in my life...I feel things happening in my uterus.  2 years later, I had my 1st boy...(3 others follow in time).

What did you learn from that event?  How were you impacted because of that lesson learned?
Even though I went through such a tragedy, my faith has grown so much over the years from the remnants of what happened to me.  I could have been so angry with the man that hit me, but I wasn't.  I could have died, but I didn't.  I could have blamed God for everything that happened, but I didn't, I clung to God!  I had a renewed faith and the seeds were beginning to grow at that time.  Then with the miracle of being able to have children, I don't doubt for one minute that I wasn't healed.  The doctors told my parents about me not having children as well, so it wasn't just something I thought I had heard.  After my twins were born in 2005, my mom said she was so proud of me and thought I wouldn't ever have any children, I looked at her and told her, I know, and reminded her of the Hispanic Preacher that prayed over me.

This event has helped me grow into the person I am today.  I am forever changed by the events that happened...not only physically, but Spiritually as well!

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